Monday morning and already I wish it was Friday. The courier's just brought me a box full of brochures about Sony AIT tape. I only agreed to take them because the sales rep's accent was so thickly Polish that I wanted to get her off the fone before she hurt my liberal sensibilities. What am I gonna do with 100 Sony tape brochures? We don't have 100 customers.

The bike ( the proper bike, as opposed to my old Raleigh which I've been laughlying refering to as the winter bike which though I left it lying at the door for speed of egress I haven't touched since last October) languishes in the loft, the dust of last summer still clinging to the tubing. I am actively thinking of getting it down even though as yet I have not. Why is it so hard to get started?

Perhaps I should buy myself a toy. Something so expensive that I'll feel obliged to use it...a Rapha outfit or a new bike (about the same price!) or some carbon geegaw for the Cannondale...hmmm.

Part of me really fancies some new Assos stuff but their website has put me right off. When they show the guy in the cycling position (but cleverly, sans bike) it looks like he's braced for anal rape, in some pics it's like he's stealing the bike and in others he's done up like a terrorist. If you cycled about London in their balaclava helmet you'd get shot. But most off-putting of all is
http://www.assos.com/en/etno/
Dept. of "what were you thinking?" I know that they're Swiss, not a nation renowned for snappy dressers but still, WTF? You could argue that hey, these guys are scientists, but what kind? Blind ones? Jeez.

About this time last year I decided to motivate myself by buying expensive componentry. I got an Easton Ec90 seatpost and Deda Elementi (as used by Lance! an excited shop guy told me, gripping my hand the while and grinning maniacly in a way last witnessed during an ill advised visit to an evangelical church) bars and stem. The seatpost is now back in the box and the bars are up the loft. Although impressively light the EC90 is a one bolt seatpost and therefore impossible to level. No matter how hard I tried, the saddle was always slightly up or down at the nose. As I'd also sprung for a Fizik Aliante saddle in Ti and carbon which, due to it's concorde profile requires a level plain, this was problematic. The all carbon construction proved to be less of a boon than hoped for too as I had to apply a pipe to the end of the allen key to get the bolt tightened up enough on the saddle rails to prevent it slipping mid ride and leaving me with a skywards pointing saddle and a sour expression. At £140 odd quid I was and remain unimpressed. The bars were a simple miss sell by the shop guy. Deda bars are not measured centre to centre as he averred but rather outside to outside. This leaves 42" bars at a realistic 40" width or to put it another way too 'king narrow by half. The stem's okay but it's not the most exciting bit of your bike, is it? When was the last time you cruised up next to stranger on the road and said "Nice Stem?" The saddle has remained on but as I bought the white one it's already worn looking. Nothing wrong with that though, eh? Everyone will think I've done lots of miles.

Time to cruise the websites.