Belated Burn's Night Poem

From The Merry Muses, much supressed (though beloved in it's day) Reels of Bogie. The cartoon "The Reel of Bogie" is using Burns' famously filthy song to lampoon the church. The few bars of music are the tune - if any of you can play the trump...

Reels' O' Bogie

You lads an lasses a’ that dwell
In the toun o Strathbogie,
Whene’er you meet a pretty lass,
Be shuir you tip her coggie.

The lads an lasses toy an kiss,
The lads ne’er think it is amiss
To bang the holes whereout they piss,
An that’s the reels o Bogie.

There’s Kent, an Keen, an Aiberdeen,
An the toun o Strathbogie,
Where every lad mey have his lass,
Nou that I’ve got my coggie.

They spreid wide their snaw-white thies
An rowe aboot their wanton een,
An when they see your pintle rise
They’ll dance the reels o Bogie.

A trooper gaun ower the lea,
He swore that he wad steer me,
An lang before the brak o day,
He giggled, goggled near me.

He put a stiff thing in my hand,
I could not bear the bangin o’t
But lang before he went awa
I suppled baith the ends o’t.

His pintle was o largest size,
Indeed it was a banger,
He socht a prize between my thies
Till it became a hanger.

Haed you but seen the wee bit skin -
He haed to put his pintle in,
You’d sworn it was a chitterlin
Dancin the reels o Bogie.

He turned aboot to fire again
An gie me t’other sally,
An as he fired I ne’er retired
But received him in my alley.

His pebbles they went thump, thump,
Against my little wanton rump,
But suin I left him but the stump
To dance the reels o Bogie.

Said I, young man, mair you can’t dae,
I think I’ve granted your desire,
By bobbin on my wanton clue,
You see your pintle’s a’ on fire.

When on my back I work like steel
An bar the door wi my left heel,
The mair you fuck the less I feel,
An that’s the reels o Bogie!